Have you ever heard 'I know this and it didn't work' or 'I've tried this and nothing changed?’ In this current climate of so many different mental health diagnoses leading to sadness, anxiousness, or full of fears, other experience life disappointments, or desires for something different in your life to find inner peace or happiness, it is so easy to lose hope. We can easily become paralyzed and our thoughts enter into a dark place of negativity.
As a therapist, people come to see me for change. This is an amazing and yet for some, a very difficult first step in asking for help.
Often I hear ‘I did CBT and it didn't work,’ or’ I did counselling and it didn't work,’ or ‘I saw a life coach and that didn't help.’
When I explore further and deeper with clients, I often discover that they actually do have good insights, have a good basic knowledge and understanding as to what they need to do.
So then why does nothing change?
Well, knowledge is power - but this powerful knowledge means absolutely nothing without repeated execution - which creates 'nuclear' change in your emotional, mental and physical state.
Real change begins with understanding that 'knowing' and 'doing' are actually two different concepts. When we come to understand the brain, we learn that we actually are the programmers of our own neurological circuit board of change.
If you want things to shift in your life and create a better emotional state, there are very specific programming strategies required.
Learning to reprogram your brain requires you to be your optimal self for personal growth. You need to repeatedly need to "execute" change itself. Think of it this way: you are creating, at this very moment, the person you're going to become tomorrow, and you are physically wiring that person into your brain. You are everything you choose to be. You are as unlimited as the endless universe.
Everything you think, feel or do imprints or rewires your brain. Our rewired brain, in turn, affects everything we think, feel, or do, which again, imprints and rewires our brain. In short, we create, design and wire our brain neural activity feedback loop.
If we want a different emotional state and outcome, then we need to move beyond the "power of knowledge' and in the direction of the” power of execution” to experience the nuclear change of our emotional and mental states.
Four Rs of Moving from Knowing to Execution in your life:
1. Reinforcement - If you want to make a change, if you want to feel different, think differently and be different, you need to change your thinking from negative to positive. Negative thinking only produces negative predictions. Negative prediction produces limiting beliefs and inner unwanted emotional, mental and physical states. Shifting to positive thoughts and attitude shift to positive predictions, and positive outcome beliefs I can and will make this happen. All of this creates shifts in your emotional, mental and physical state.
2. Rituals - Change your behaviours to change your emotional state. If you are sad and stay at home alone in your room, the repetition of ritual will only create more of the same sad state! You are wiring your brain to feel these unwanted emotions. You need to create behavioural the P-R X 3 ritual to new behaviours that can create new pleasurable emotions. The P-R X3 formula is Practice, Repeat - Practice, Repeat - Practice, Repeat + 100 more PR's = EXECUTION and nuclear change.
3. Rewards - Give yourself little rewards that keep your momentum going and move you closer to permanent positive change. This is where you are rewarding your commitment to integrating your executed changes. This is your inertia boost! The reward starts to fortify your change process.
4. Refinement - As you keep working your PR's - continue to tweak your positive changes to optimize your successes and improve your emotional, mental and physical rewards.
Remember, if you want to quit substances, lose weight, improve your mood, improve your relationships, improve your inner state of esteem and worth, begin to EXECUTE your nuclear change and reap the rewards.